It feels as if I’ve spent an entire lifetime learning about power. I excelled early in my career to positions of leadership. I was very successful at managing teams, creating long-standing relationships and even hitting revenue targets that others deemed impossible. I combined my ability to strategically see possibilities and my gift of intuition to navigate in extraordinary ways.

To the outside world, I appeared confident, direct, and powerful. However, on the inside, I was in a constant struggle with my inner-power. I often felt insecure, and I had a tremendous fear of failure. Admittedly, there were even times when I would resort to manipulative behavior to seize power. To protect myself, I stayed in the shadow of my manager (typically, the founder) and even my business partner to avoid the limelight and my inner-power struggle.

In May 2005, during my mother’s funeral, I finally admitted this long-standing inner-power struggle with myself. I knew that time was marching forward and that the stress of this inner-battle I was enduring was literally killing me. At the graveside, I was so caught up in my own thoughts, that it suddenly dawned on me that the birds and the wind and even the eloquent words of my brother’s eulogy had all gone utterly silent as if someone had pressed some giant “mute” button. But then as clear as a bell, I heard my mother’s spirit implore me, “When are you going to do something about this?”

From that day forward, I slowly began a journey of self-exploration that has included mentors, coaches, intensives, experiential retreats, books, meditation, and self-reflection – all of which have had a profoundly positive effect on my life, my coaching practice and my understanding of power.

It is possible to tap into the inner power that lives inside all of us. For me, the process was a three-step journey. First, I needed to refine and redefine my beliefs surrounding feminine and masculine energy. Next, I had to learn to soften the edges and trust myself enough to drop into my wise and open heart. And finally, in that heart, I needed to discover my deepest purpose in order to truly begin to live.

I not only wanted to go beyond my internal glass ceiling, but I also wanted to shatter it. With the guidance of my coach, I came to realize that would not be possible while I remained so energetically out-of-balance. I had mastered the use of my masculine vibration by being goal-driven, competitive, independent, logical, ambitious, and focused. Those were all outward power-focused energies, and I had learned to rely on them a little too much.

It was time to rediscover and honor my feminine energy and strength. I derive feminine energy and power from intuition, receptivity, feeling, emotion, compassion, and nurturing. Both energies, when in balance, make us whole. Whether you are a man or a woman. As I became more conscious of what my relationship has been with the different energies of the masculine and feminine, I became more comfortable holding my inner power and letting my light shine.

As I began to soften and awaken the portion of myself that nurtures and brings forth life, I dropped deeper into my heart. I began to let go of old negative patterns and fall in love with myself. I found forgiveness for old resentments. My voice softened, my posture improved and my internal presence began to billow and blossom. I began to trust my intuition and its wisdom. I rewired my intentions for deep listening and curiosity. I no longer needed to prove myself to others. I created an attitude of servitude. I allowed myself to be vulnerable and ‘seen’ by others. The chattering voices in my mind became fainter and so did my struggle with inner-power.

If we dedicate our lives to something larger than ourselves, then it gives life meaning. And meaning creates empowerment. When you deeply connect your purpose or your calling to a higher level of consciousness such as creativity, love, compassion, joy or peace you not only radiate inner-power you become connected to the higher collective energy. Being noble is being powerful. Friedrich Nietzsche says it best,

“This is the manner of noble souls: they do not want to have anything for nothing; least of all, life. Whoever is of the mob wants to live for nothing; we others, however, to whom life gave itself, we always think about what we might best give in return.”

My deepest purpose is creating more love in the world, specifically by making the feeling of love omnipresent in the workplace. I knew there was an impeccable higher purpose for my work, and once I acknowledged it, I became deeply connected to my inner-power. I’ve often said to my friends and colleagues that coaching is my ‘home-stretch’ career. I could not imagine a greater gift or a more noble contribution to the world.

If you’re willing to put in the work, you too can let your inner power out to play. Just find that delicate balance between your masculine and feminine side. Let your heart fill you through and through. And then uncover that deeper purpose that makes it all worthwhile.

Just don’t be surprised if you feel a little like the heel-clicking Dorothy at the end of The Wizard of Oz. It was right inside of you all along.